It’s entry 1 on this website, and that’s always a bit of an intimidating thing. You want to start strong and open people up to what you’re going to talk about on this website, but also not come across as super cheesy. That’s not always an easy balance to strike, believe it or not.
I’d been jotting down different ideas and thoughts for entries and what I want to do with this website, but only now—10 January 2020—am I really thinking about what I want to be my first official post.
So I’m going to bring in something that I’ve been really trying to adhere to more: openness. In 2019, I did a lot of self-work, really trying to improve myself and grow beyond all the traumas and pains I’d been carrying for a decade. By doing that, I improved my relationship with friends and family, but also with myself, and it allowed me to be more open with others.
Because that’s been really rewarding for me, I’m going to do the same here. Which might mean a bit of cheese is on the way, but cheese can sometimes be really awesome (except if you’re lactose intolerant, which if you are, I’m sorry).
What Is a “Scottican”?
A bit of word creation on my end, Scottican is how I started to define my nationality. Born American, but with a heart and spirit in Scotland. Scottish-American. Scottican is how I started to feel after “home” was redefined from “the place I was born” to a place that actually felt like home.
It became the title of a poem I wrote about my time in Scotland, and so I decided to carry the name into this website, and make it a part of my identity officially.
Why Am I Starting This Website?
As I get closer to posting my first official entry, there’s a very critical part of myself that asks that question frequently. Let me answer that question both to you and my own self-critic.
Seven years ago in 2013, I was living in Scotland, earning my Master’s Degree. That same year, I was made to leave Scotland and return back to the United States. In those seven years that have passed between my leaving and my still being in the States, there is one constant that has always been in my life; that has pushed me forward and kept me going; that has driven every goal and move I’ve made in my life since then.
That constant was, and still is, my desire to get back to Scotland, to build my life and home there.
When I left Scotland, it was as though all other goals fell away. In these seven years, I’ve no mind to dating or relationships; while I’ve yearned for my own place, that home I envisioned only existed in Glasgow. It has been my foundation, both a source of great depression and also of love and celebration. I’ve written about Scotland frequently; pay avid attention to the politics and occurrences abroad; and cheer when I see her recognized in the media or entertainment.
It is only when I’m there that I feel completely and utterly at peace with myself and my life.
So for a place to reside in my heart long, to be so consistent that it blocks out the desire for most other things in my life, that feels worthy of dedicating myself to.
The Scottican is meant to be a place to share my love of all things Scottish: the landscapes and scenery, the people and the customs, the places I enjoy visiting… I want people to see and understand my own love for this wonderful wee country a bit better.
Now, I start this website, still with all those worries and fears that starting any journey leaves you with, but I’m still here with that same constant in my life: Scotland is my passion and love—and who are we if we don’t share our loves with the world?